"I'm addicted to sugar." I know a lot of people who say this and then follow it up with a little laugh and a roll of their eyes. Is this because they think they're joking? Maybe they think that sugar can't be a real addiction like cocaine, heroin, or alcohol. Well, they need to think again. Would you like a peek inside of my head for just a moment? Don't be scared, I really do have conversations with myself inside my head all the time. Heck, I probably have whole conversations with you inside my head all the time.
First thought upon
waking this morning:
"Okay,
no sugar or grains today…period." <a moment of silence>
"But I
can't drink my coffee black!"
"Yes you
can!"
"Okay..."
*sigh*
I then proceeded
to have one cup of black coffee. I ate my grain free and sugar free breakfast.
With my breakfast I drank another cup of coffee.
”a little sugar and whole cream won't hurt anything"
”okay but you can have only one teaspoon and plenty of cream."
I followed that
cup up with another. Then I decided it was great idea to make some
chocolate chip meringue cookies.
"Chocolate chip cookies sure do sound good."
"I shouldn't make those. It will kill my blood sugar."
"If I make meringues they will be grain free. I can reduce the
amount of sugar and use sucanat instead of regular sugar.
”That’s not too bad. The kids could have much worse."
”At least these won't be full of high fructose corn syrup and other nasty
ingredients."
For
lunch I made some grain free crackers that I served with almond butter, raw
cheese, and apples.
”You know what? The kids would sure enjoy a glass of chocolate milk with
that."
"They sure would and I guess I'll have some too since I've already
blown the whole no sugar thing today."
So yes, we washed
down an otherwise healthy lunch with chocolate milk. The only member of
my family safe from my self destructive behavior is Little Bit who is too young
to know what she is missing.
Are these conversations any different than one that an alcoholic trying
to kick the habit would have? No. Wait; there is one major, glaring
difference I see. Most alcoholics are sensible enough to not make a gin
and tonic for the kiddos at lunch time. Sugar is a socially acceptable
addiction. It's no less harmful than drugs or alcohol but readily available in
steady supply to even the youngest and most vulnerable members of our society.
I am my kids’ dealer. I am diabetic. I know that they are genetically
predisposed to it so I try my best to feed them well and teach them sound
nutrition. Then I feed them sugar. I think a little here and there
won't hurt but if I am honest with myself, those every now and then treats tend
to happen on an almost daily basis. Even if they go a day without some
sort of sweet, I am sure to have some.
Do you need
further proof of the serious nature of sugar addiction? In a French
study presented at the 2007 annual meeting of the Society for
Neuroscience, rats given a choice between water sweetened with saccharin or cocaine
overwhelmingly chose the sweetened water. If the amount of cocaine was
increased, they still chose the saccharin water. Given a choice between
sugar water and cocaine, the sugar water won. It is thought that sugar actually
causes a more intense reward signal in the brain than cocaine! I have no
doubt.
These internal conversations I've shared with you are not unusual. I battle
with myself like this on a daily basis. I know that I will battle this
addiction for the rest of my life. Well meaning friends
and family, that wouldn't think of offering me alcohol if I were an alcoholic,
will continue to offer me my favorite treats. I know I will be faced with
them at parties and holidays. Do I want them to stop? Heck no! I would be sad if my mom didn't make me a cake for my birthday or if my husband didn't buy me that small box of my favorite chocolates for Valentine's day. The emotional pull that sugar has on my life is a topic for another day. I know that I will not go the rest of my
life without sugar but I sure hope to spend about 90% of my time without it.
I'll write here about my progress and share tips and recipes that help me
along the way. I'd love to hear your tricks and tips too. The next
time I'm invited to a party I hope they have a big table full of cocaine.
I can totally pass that up! Cake... well that’s another story all together.
