Birth Story of the Littlest Rongey Part 3

And now for the rest of the story.  This is the exciting conclusion and it is a bit longer than the previous installments  but I couldn't find a good place to break it up.  I hope you enjoy it.

By this point, I have been in labor over 12 hours and time all starts to run together.  My contractions had picked up a little in intensity since the exam but I was still able to stay on top of them and have conversations in between.  I know that somewhere around 9 my friend J showed up.  This was an exciting moment for me.  I knew it was  the real deal.  She was there for moral support and she acted as my doula.  She was there because this home birth  thing was old hat to her.  She’s had 5 children all at home.  I was privileged enough to be present at the birth of her fifth child.  I knew that  when the going got tough and I was  in the trenches she was going to be the feminine voice that could calm, center, and reassure me.  Her mere presence gave me a boost of confidence. 

     As the day drug on certain events stand out but it was mostly me working through contractions while K or J rubbed my back or arms.  Then someone would try and make me drink water, eat, or go to the bathroom.  It seemed after every single contraction I was asked if I needed one of those three things.  I know it wasn’t that frequent but it became humorous to me.  I had been so excited about eating and drinking during labor.  My only other experiences had been c-sections where I’d been starved for 12 hours before and then only allowed liquids for 24 hours after.  The funny thing is, I didn’t particularly want to eat.  I would eat a little cottage cheese or something to humour my midwives but I didn’t really want it.  Funny how that works.

      Sometime in the afternoon, M suggested that maybe I would like to labor in the tub.  I was still on top of my contractions but they were definitely longer and I was softly voicing many of them.  That tub was bliss.  I got in and immediately felt my whole body relax.  I was amazed at how well it helped with the pain.  I leaned back against the side and would fall asleep.  When a contraction hit I would easily cope and then I would go back to sleep.  I think M was hoping that the relaxing effect of the water would help me to dilate faster but after a couple of hours it was apparent that wasn’t happening.  My labor seemed to slow down considerably.  I enjoyed this break and was secretly hoping that she didn’t notice but who did I think I was fooling?

       Well, as the day s-l-o-w-l-y turned into early evening I got “the talk.”  This is when M and E took me aside and very lovingly but very firmly told me that we could go on like this for days and days.  It was time for me to get to work.  If  I wanted to have this baby I was going to have to do some work for it.  I was going to have to have some contractions in positions that I would hate and yes, that included sitting backwards on the toilet.  At this moment I was so mad I wanted to cry.  I was angry that they were giving me this talk.  Didn’t they know that I had been working hard all these long hours?  Did they think I was just pretending my contractions were more intense than they were?  Did they really think I was being lazy?  These were the irrational thoughts that were going through my head as I listened.  With a pout, I quietly responded that I would do whatever they asked me to do.  I knew deep down inside that I was going to have to work harder if I wanted this to happen.  I knew that my contractions weren’t doing what they were supposed to.  But I was tired and I had to have my little pity party first.

       Now for another experience that, before I was actually in labor, sounded so divine.  M suggested that K and I go out for a walk and I should walk through my contractions.  It was a warm evening for January.  The sun was setting and it was really a beautiful time of day.  We began walking but I would stop during a contraction and lean on K and sway as inconspicuously as  I could. He kept gently reminding me that I needed to walk through them but they hurt too badly, so I ignored him.   Every once in awhile one of our neighbors would drive by and I would feel very self conscious.   After one go around our little cul-de-sac we went back in.  M  greeted us at the door and sent us back out.  I was not happy.  The second time around I attempted to walk through the contractions.  That was painful!  At this point I felt the most terrifying and painful sensation, my body was pushing.  I couldn’t control it.  I knew I wasn’t fully dilated.  I hadn’t felt any of the traditional warning signs of transition.   I got very worried.  We finished the walk around the street and then we went back in.  M sent us back out again!  It was almost dark and getting pretty chilly.  We walked part of the way down the street and then another big pushy contraction hit and I said, “I want to go back in.”  K tried to convince me to finish the walk but I was too scared.  We went inside and I told M I’d had several involuntary pushing contractions.  She looked at me with a strange look on her face.  She offered to check me and I said yes.  I was at a 6 and the baby was + 2.   I was thrilled that I’d made it so far past 3 but scared because my body kept pushing every few contractions.

       The next couple of hours were spent trying to speed things up.  I had to have several contractions in the one place I said I would never get caught during a contraction again, the toilet!  I sat backwards on the toilet while K rubbed my back and I made it through several torturous contractions.  I sat on the birthing ball and rotated my way through many more contractions.  The tone of the contractions had definitely changed.  They were strong and longer and very regular.  My blissful,” I’m having a baby at home!” attitude disappeared.  I was exhausted.  We were over 24 hours into this now, and I was having a hard time staying on top of each contraction.  They didn’t want to let me into the tub yet.  I think because of the way it had slowed my labor earlier.  I tried getting into the shower but I hated it.  I always came back to my beloved, red birth ball.  The contractions on it were intense but I felt I could handle them.  It’s like I was in my safe place.

      Sometime in the early evening, M and E decided that maybe I should get back in the birth tub.  I think it was clear to them that my contractions were way more intense then they should be at 6cm.  I don’t know if they understood how powerfully my body was pushing every few contractions but  I think they wanted me to relax as best I could so I could get a grip on the pain.  I got in the tub.  E was made my drill sergeant. I cannot overstate how important she was to me at this point in my labor.  She single-handedly got me back into the right mindset.  She had to convince me to get into positions that I did not want to be in to labor.  She wanted me to try the proposal position, one  knee on the floor of the pool and one knee up.  I hated it.  The pushing was intensified and I was still terrified that my cervix would swell and we would end up transferring to the hospital.  Everyone reassured me that feeling a little pushy this far along and, considering the station of the baby, was nothing out of the ordinary.  My midwives and J promised me that it was perfectly normal.  I had been trying to keep from pushing.  E said to let my body push if I wanted but not to help it any.  With everyone’s comforting reassurance I relaxed.  I wasn’t helping the pushing at all anyhow.  It was totally involuntary but I felt much calmer now that I realized it was normal.  E kept making me get into the proposal position every contraction.   Then she bargained with me and said if I did 2 contractions on my knees then I could sit for the third.  I took her up on it and her sincere sympathy for my exhaustion was just what I needed at that moment.  E has a gift for  knowing how to motivate a woman that feels she is at the end of her rope.  I dug deep and found my inner strength and motivation.   I then began to force myself to get onto my knees for every contraction.  As I did this the pushy contractions got more frequent until I was pushing with almost every one.  At this point my friend J quietly whispered, “let yourself feel the  power.”  It was exactly what I needed and became my mantra through my contractions.  It wasn’t pain, it was power flowing through me. I labored for a long while in there.  After a while I think my midwives realized that my body wasn’t just a “little pushy” but that I was full on pushing.  E tried to coach me to take it easy and not help but I couldn’t do anything about it.  At some point, it seemed that I was getting close and our birth photographer was called but  knew I wasn’t ready to push.  I could tell that the pushing wasn’t doing anything.  Each contraction made my whole body shake and it felt like the baby was slamming into my cervix.  M asked if she could examine me again so I got out of the tub.

      After  3 hours of hard, hard work I had gone from 6cm to 6.5cm but the baby was at +3 station.  The baby had come down but my cervix wasn’t  dilating.  M calmly explained my options to me.  She said she was willing to do something she had never done before.  She would attempt to manually dilate me from a 6.5cm to 10cm during contractions.  She warned that it would be very painful.  My other option was to transport to the hospital and she would absolutely support that decision. At this point,  K became very concerned.  He wanted to understand completely what would happen if I was just allowed to continue labor.   M said she was concerned that my cervix would tear.  While they were having this conversation I had already made up my mind.  J suggested that maybe K and I would like to be alone to discuss it but I just looked at him and said,”what’s to discuss?  I’m not transporting.”  In the most loving and supporting manner, he put his fears aside and trusted me.  I laid on my back on the bed, which was torture aplenty on its own, and M dilated me through several contractions.  I kept waiting for an explosive pain but it never came.  It was like all the nerves in my cervix were numb.  Thank goodness for small favors. We made good progress on the bed then I had to lean over the bed and we repeated the procedure.  The last set of contractions were spent on the birth chair.  This is a famous contraption that has saved at least 50 of M’s clients from c-sections.  I was determined  to add to that statistic.  I pushed long hard through each contraction as M dilated me.  At some point in all this M said she could see the head and did I want to touch it?  I reached down and touched it but I couldn’t even comprehend what I was feeling, I was so focused on getting the job done.  In 45 minutes I went from a 6 to 10 with just a lip of cervix left.  That last bit was the worst.  The second the lip was gone I felt the baby drop between my legs.  I leaped up from the birthing chair and  jumped into the birth tub.

       I was so excited to be at this moment.  K got in with me. The kids and my mom and mother-in-law all gathered round to witness my triumph.  I put my hand on the baby’s head as I pushed.  I talked to the baby as it slipped back up in between pushes trying to encourage it to find it’s way out.  I felt the much expected but still shocking burn of the baby crowning.  I tried to ease it out but I will confess that after so many hours of pushing I was ready to be done!   The head was born and on the next contraction the body slid right out.  As a parting gift to me, the baby kicked me on it’s way out.  It was the coolest thing I think I have ever felt!  It had taken me just a hand full of pushes to birth the baby once my cervix got out of the way.  K caught the baby and placed it on my chest.  I just kept saying, “I did it!” over and over through my tears.  I wanted to stay in that moment for a long, long time but I realized there was a crowd of people around wanting to know the gender.  I held the baby away from me and looked at my 10 year old daughter and said calmly, “Emma you have a sister.”  A very loud cheer went up in the room.  It could not have been more perfect.  I got the homebirth I wanted and a girl too!  I couldn’t believe my good fortune.  I still can’t. I  have replayed her birth over and over just savoring the opportunity I had been given.  I was given a chance to “reset” my birth history.  I was no longer a high risk diabetic mother.  I became a “normal” women able to push my baby out under my own power, in my own space.  It was not a textbook perfect birth but it was perfect to me.

     I understand every day how indebted I am to my family and the people that supported me on this healing journey.  I can’t say enough how much I appreciate how M and E patiently and calmly stayed with me and worked with me through every hurdle that was thrown at me during my labor.  I am thankful for the support my family showed even though a few of them had some fear about me attempting a homebirth. They remained supportive and trusted that I would make the right decision. And of course, K, who never once doubted I could do it.  I thank you all with all of my heart and will forever be grateful to you.

Here is the link to my birth slide show if you’d like to view it.  It does contain pictures of the actual birth.

 http://www.visualempathy.com/blog/2011/02/09/the-birth-of-julianne-corinna/